Thursday, 30 April 2009

.::I appreciate my girlfriend::.

I hope..I hope for you..I hope you will be loved..I hope you get your dream..I just hope.


I know you dont mean to do this..I know you didnt mean to make me cry..I know you didnt mean to make this so hard for me..But I dont know if you're still think about me..Or how much I mean to you?



But I will be happy..And I will be healthy..Coz I know you want me to..And I know you'd be happy if I do..I hope you know how much you mean to me..And I wish I can smile for you again.

First of all, thank you for approaching me while I was so difficult to reach, thank you for looking for me, thank you for loving me, thank you for taking care of me, thank you for always being there for me, thank you for putting up with my mood swings, thank you for all your prayers during exam, thank you for your ears and shoulders, thank you for listening to my rants and seeing and hearing my tears especially before I sleep, thank you for being yourself and I can be myself too and most importantly, thank you for being the best of the best, making me happier. I've never been this happier and I am truly grateful for your existance in my life.
You've seen the best and the worst in me.

p/s: ok..now its 1:00a.m..i want to start opening my notes...
I just think that my grammar is getting bad. Sudah lama tidak membaca buku. Majalah-majalah apatah lagi. Even my vocabs are bad too.isk.

.::apa khabar hatiku hari ini?::.

oke...pendekkan cerita...last 2 nyte..we had an arguement again..bout our relationship..n about our sincerity....and at the end..its was fine at all...i slept from 9p.m onwards untill 6a.m..can u imagine that? itulah tido yang sgt puas pernah kurasa..

  • today...she went out for a movie (2 movies actually)..oke..
  • i went to barry as usual at 8am..have a short conversation while shes picking up her friends..oke..
  • we hav sms'ing' in the morning..oke..everything was fine..
  • i came back at 5p.m...in msia maybe at 12midnite...oke...
  • she call me twice..but i cant hear her voice..oke...
  • i call her back...but she reading megazine..i told her to finished it first...oke..
  • then she called me back...oke lagi...
  • than we had a conversation...a bit bout the movies she watched...a bit bout her new spec..oke....
  • she asked me, if i am penat or not.. i replied..'a'ah penat baru balik'...half ok (me) n half not (her)...oke..
  • than my bad habit come again...i asked her if she wanted to sleep...but she still awake..oke..
  • having conv. again...n i asked her again...same question...oke..
  • suddently..she really want to sleep... :O
  • waaaa....feels like exploding (walhal she just want to sleep)..
  • y am being too cruel...she must be soo tired today...
  • but am a bit emotional last nite...erm...dun hav to mentioned why...
  • all in all..its was my mistake..
  • why i said so? yelah..nk tido pun jadi isu...
  • dear me, can u please giv her time to rest? oke i will...
  • can u control ur voice so that she doesnt feels like am bored talking wif her?...i dunno...its just my tired voice.. i miss her voice.
  • she asked for a *****-*p ..again? OMG! i dunno wut todo...
  • tried to make her calm...but i dunno wut her feeling inside...
  • sumthing in this blog..really hurts her... (i will disable 'anoy's comment..only bloggers n open id can leave a comment..n i realize that blogger dun hav privacy anymore)
  • ok saya merapu lagi malam nih...saya xtahu nak buat ape...skrg die tgh tido lena...sy mahu stadi..tapi buku ade kat dalam beg lagi...lapar..sakit dada sikit...saya buntu lagi..tolong tolong....

thats our story tonite...all in all..its just a lil fight..i know she loves me(perasan)..

dear u, i might be the worst person u ever met..i realize that now.tho u hav ur fault..and its really forgiven..but wut about me? can u stand wif me?can u? i really dunno...sumtime i feels like i want to hole u tight..but sumtime i feel i am too cruel for u..but, i dont want us to be apart..

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

.::s.c.r.a.t.c.h::.

Di saat ini saya membayangkan si dia yang sedang tidur berselimut putih pink
Menerusi webcam minda dari kamar kecil ini..
Seperti kepompong yang berbungkus
Pemandangan yang sungguh damai..

Terusik di hati
Berbisik..
"Bodohnya aku yang telah persiakan cintanya yang tersembunyi di sebalik cela"

Selepas ini..
Takkan ada cinta yang dapat merebut hati ku,
Kecuali Dia.



Monday, 27 April 2009

.::m.y.h.a.l.f::.


after almost 4months resting , I'm finally back on track.. =) so many things happened to me in this short period of time..(is it?)..i must say.. things that I've never saw it coming..the events that make me change my point of view of life..making me more stronger and believe that there's gonna be a better future for me ahead..those who knew me well pun,I'm sure they do not  know what I'm talking about..what else if not about my dramatic love life! okay2..so, let me start with the chronology and things happen afterwards...

she came to UK on the 11th of April.. i was so excited, so i bring something dat she likes(i dunno whether she likes it or not..but am pretty sure she likes the design) and waited for her to call..she told me she just arrived in the hotel..i smiled, picturing her with something for me..hehehe..( i love it when she makes surprises, making me want her even more..=) upon arrival, she looks tired and a bit cold, but i thought it was ok..haven't it been she was on the flight for 12 hours..neither did i thought it was a bad sign for us..ignoring that fact,on the other hand i was nagging about my scars that she left me felt hurt..( i thought, I'll be not as smart,charming as she wants me to be...)...aahh..i know, i am being insensitive that time! but, u know, i have always thought, she will leave me someday for another guy..ok, back to the real story..so, then, i just keep her company while she had her meal which was maggi cup tomyam(which was her fav during high school).

at night, after having a dinner at jom makan..i take a walk with her..at that time, i felt like am gonna blurt her everything..n i just did it..but i just cant even cry at the first glance..i was touched but my reaction wasn't(yeah, she came a long way to see me).. i don't know why, but suddenly i got angry at her because she came back after she leave me for so long!.. i know i should be grateful, but i don't know what happened to me, i exploded! ( emotions was controlling me!)and went straight to my room. as usual, she would just keep silent and let me deal with my emotions myself. and after awhile, i felt bad, and apologize to her..( these are actually a norm for us, so i thought it was ok..) so the next day...too long to tell..but its such a wonderful time n memories..

(i thought it was just the normal episode of her going on..so,i don't really give so much attention..) i asked her if we were actually, ok..i told her that we are fine.. so, it cooled her down in some ways maybe(plus she came back to me n admit all her fault).. despite that,she told me the truth...she was selfish at that time..i kinda see it coming n leaving again, so i tried to look ok with it.. she told me, there's a lot of reason she cant be with me..( i don't have to state it here,coz, things are really complicated)..tears were flowing down my cheeks and we say goodbye..( actually,that time, i thought, we would reconcile back, so.. I'm just giving her the time to think it over..pity me!) at that specific moment, i thought, it was only a crack of our 4 months and might somehow heal itself, but after 2 weeks, on the 27 of April 2009,i just knew something  new..and she just can accept it..she used to blame herself...from time to time..every n each conversation..after each hang up....its make me felt so bad.. she told me don't forgive her and just leave her..AGAIN?about us? she promised to me dat she wont never let me go even if i wanted to ..so,  maybe that was the start of my life without her..i was a total mess i must say..i thought  cant make it.. before this..i cried for days to weeks...i skipped my classes, i even wrote so many things on my wall, vowing no to love and other emotional talking..i couldn't bear the thought of living life without her..i cant sleep, i cant even eat...but, at the same i tried looking fine in front of the people around me, but only god knows how painful i was inside..my friends were very helpless in helping me out..(coz they dunno wut really happen) .. i heard so many rumours about her with someone back in Malaysia, and i myself was being alone here..i felt cheated, i felt my trust was betrayed, and i did what i thought was right..but, those were all the emotions acting and talking..and finally, today, we had another conversation to clear the blurry and snowy air, and eventually,  i felt  deep pain letting her go with peace because we are just never meant to be.. so, there's no use of hating her or punishing her.. she had the courage to say the right thing..n i wasn't.

up till now, she don't even know how much effort i put..how much i love her...n how much i regret about my past n my sin...i am muhammad fahmi whose is now his eyes,his mind,n his HEART is only belong to azdamunira..

shahril told me that she left me b'coz i betray her before..she told me dat she was selfish..to whom shud i listen to?god...am shaking rite now..am not as strong as her...give me strength again..

i know i am guilty of making her life misery before..whatever her behaviour..its all my fault...up till now, i can forgive myself for not taking a good care of her...i have tried my best ..n if this is the best way for her...throw her feeling towards me away..so dat she'll b happy for her life..

i can bear of getting left again..not even cross in my mind to leave her..its just my way to see if she really want to hold me tight..

i will try to improve myself (controlling my emotions and not being too sensitive) and being more  independent .. for the record, this is the only girl that changed my life and making me realised in loyalty... and thanks for being a part of my history..

p/s:thanks to you for turning to me..and I'm sorry for some badmouthing and irrational actions....
i still stick to my promise..tho whatever stupid thing people may say about me..that's was in me since I've change..whatever happen...my heart will always be with only girl i mention in this post...i can accept her past like she did..but the picture n sms i got from dat guy really hurt me..sorry, u got a headache b'coz of me.take ur pills..u'll be ok soon..i pray.

l.o.v.e

Sunday, 26 April 2009

.::m.a.l.a.i.k.a.t::.

tak pernah ku
rasakan cinta ini
begini indahnya
ku cuba buat
kau mengerti
tapi
segala galanya tidak
tertanding
pada
rasa cintaku
padamu



kau hadir
secara tiba tiba

tapi segera
memadamkan
kisah silamku



kau
adalah
rinduku
kasihku
sayangku
cintaku



yang telah aku
sia siakan
dahulu



itu semua
adalah untukmu

hanya dirimu
yang layak
memilikinya



maafkan aku


aku bukan
malaikat
tapi
aku mengimpikan

untuk menjadi
malaikat
di sisimu



demi tuhanku
dan tuhanmu

tidak pernah aku
rasai semua ini

sehingga aku
bersamamu



genggam erat
tanganku

kita melangkah
ke dunia ini
bersama



persetankan
kata mereka



sejak
aku bersamamu

aku sudah lupa
kisah silam
kau dan aku



kini
masa kita bersama



kau
cinta aku
yang tiada pengakhiran



jika
ditakdirkan kau
tiada



demi tuhanku
dan tuhanmu



tiada pengganti
untuk kehilanganmu
kau begitu istimewa


selamanya

p/s: i cant call u b'coz....i bet u had a good day last nite..

Saturday, 25 April 2009

.::kerana diri kita semua terlalu beharga::.


surat ni ku tulis khas untuk seseorang..seseorang yang berada sgt dalam di hatuku...


knape tulis?knape xckp dlm phone je?kan murah,mudah dan cepat...


i have two reasons:



  1. like i mentioned before..am not a sweet talker..hence not a good writer...


  2. sumtimes...its better to 'monolog' like this...because...thru conversation...kite xboleh pentingkan dri nak cakap pjg lebar....sure kite kne beri laluan utk dicelah?kan kan? =P..jadi..bile tulis blog mcmni...xde yg akan dicelah sehinggalah that sumone habis bace post nih...hehhe..

ok back to the main point...yeah..nape ade 'hehehe' kat atas tu? walhal baru tadi we're having not-so-good conversation? its because...i malas nak layan fikiran i yg bukan2...i just want to know dat..one day, i'll marry u...n u want me to be ur hubby. dats it. biasalah hidup...kejap di atas..kejap di bawah...kejap happy..kejap sedih...kejap marah...kejap sayang...kejap merajuk...so? does i want to surrender? absolutely not! sebab ape? sebabnya.... itulah cinta.. cinta itukan buta..dan berkuat kuasa serta merta?! =P hehe... i mrapu lagi...erm...urm....ape eyh? semamtara tgn tgh cargas..tp mindaku plak yg block...byk nih nak tulis...haa...i cubelah ye...*strt ngn first paragraph then followup by next paragraph* (maaf, i am an engineering person, everything must be according to the procedure, jgn salahkan mak ayah saya, jgn salahkan org yg sy sayang skrg, salahkan chief engineer,lecturer,technician,dekan, timbalan dekan, n semua yg terlibat membuat saya jadik aircraft engineering pnye orang!)



"Keindahan kehidupan tersirna tatkala Tuhan kita menjadikan kita punya keunikan tersendiri. Maka dengan itu Tuhan kita menciptakan kita berpuak-puak adanya, agar kita semua saling mengenali antara satu sama lain. Begitu juga dengan keindahan penciptaan Adam dan Hawa. Bermitos-mitos ceritera disampaikan tapi gah menunjukkan betapa perlunya sifat saling memahami sesama kita, me and you, demi mewujudkan suasana harmoni tatlaka menumpang sebentar di Dunia ini." even kite xsame....walaupun same taste...same interest..but our behaviour kite lain..cara pemikiran kite lain..sebab ape? sebabnye tuhan nak kite rasa yg kita saling melengkapi antara satu sama lain...kalau kite dah cukup lengkap, xperlulah tuhan jadikan kite berpasang-pasangan...remember, at one time, i sgt trust u n u xtrust i...now, its still happen, but vice-versa...sebab ape? sebab dunia ini kan bulat? even mate u pun bulat...tuhan nak u rase ape yg i rase dulu dan die nk i rase ape yg u rase dulu..adilkan? so bile kite dah rebah, baru kite tahu dan sedar yang ape kite buat itu salah n dari situ kite belajar utk perbaiki diri dan hubungan kite..daari situ juga kite akan rasa hidup ini xlengkap tanpa org yg ada untuk melengkapi diri ini =) but currently...am so in love with u,tho mlm td i :'' n u pun :'', but itukan kite?we make thing n we make up thing n we never bored with dat...i slalu berdoa, supaya cinta u pada i tak perlu tebal mcmmane kite baru2 kenal..tapi biarlah kekal sampai bile2...thats phrase is act my du'a.


"Maka dicarilah kesinambungan dan tips tips adanya, demi menjadi panduan untuk mereka mereka yang cuba mempelajari seni kehidupan ini. Sungguh, aku masih gagal untuk mengerti setiap tips-tips yang disampaikan, tatkala pemahaman aku berkata "Kau dan aku tidak sama dengan mereka yang lain. Masakan aku menjadikan dirimu bahan ujian dari tips-tips yang sedia ada." hidup ini bukan satu ujian yang kita perlu lulus untuk bahagia...dan bahagia itu pula bukannya disebabkan oleh tiada konflik,salah faham,bergaduh,merajuk dsb. kalau setiap hari begitu...maka tiadalah bahagia...bahagia muncul setelah adanya derita...macam u dengan i...jujur i katakan, i bahagia dgn u...dan i xpernah pula kata..lepas ini xnak gaduh,mrajuk, dsb lagi dah...kerana itukan normal..itukan reaksi spontan kita? =) apepun...cinta itu tidak pernah hilang...sebabnya..?kamu bersumpah akulah yang pertama dan terakhir. aku bersumpah akan berkahwin dan aku hanya akan berkahwin jika itu ialah kamu? bukankah itu sama?cuma kata2 yang berbeza? =)


"Keunikan inilah yang menjadikan manusia itu lebih kreatif dalam meluahkan pendapat dan isi hati masing-masing. Dan daya kreatif ini jelas memberikan rona warna-warni dalam kehidupan para makhluk di Dunia.Kerna seni kehidupan itu indah, Tuhan kita jadikan kita sebegini. Tuhan kita yang menyediakan keindahan dalam setiap segi. Bukan setakat di ruang lingkup atasan, juga di ruang lingkup bawahan." kita punyai pendapat kita sendiri..asalkan matlamat kita sama, terpulanglah kepada masing2 untuk kita tadbir..kenapa? sebab i jauh dari u..of course u hav to take care of urself, and so do i. i boleh jadi i yang dulu, sebab kite jauh, xde orang yang nak check. u pun boleh jgak jadi mcmtu...tapi kenapa tidak berlaku? sebab kita pernah terhantuk..dan cukuplah terhantuk sekali dari berkali2...i trust u, n u trust me...dats it. but not 100%..erm, knape pulak bukan 100%? yela...for sure dalam hati akan ade sedikit takut rasa di tinggalkan..kan? =) cemburu itu perlu..tapi bertempat. marah itu perlu..tapi bersebab. benci itu perlu..tapi berpada. bukan benci yang benci..tapi benci yang manja..isk, camne nak ckp? erm..u call i lah..nnt i ckp mcmmane..i nk proceed to next paragraph.


"Maka hargailah sesiapa sahaja yang hadir dalam hidup kamu dan tampilkan diri kamu seadanya. Tidak perlu menjadikan dirimu pantulan cermin orang lain, kerana mereka yang hadir itu sedar akan keunikan kamu. Dan kerna itu mereka mendekati kamu. Mereka itu hadir tanpa mengharapkan kamu bertukar menjadi Gaban mahupun Superman secara tiba-tiba. Hargai diri anda seadanya. Dan cuma perbaiki kekurangan diri yang disedari kerana bukankah kita semua ini dalam pengembaraan menuju kesempurnaan?" betul kan ayat nih? kadang2..i xperasan i kasar dgn u...sumpah i xperasan, bile dah letak phone, baru i terfikir..eyh..tadi tu mcm kasar je bunyik..tapi dah terlambat..its already spoken...dats the worst in me..but percayalah..i terfikir juga sumtime i mmg nampak kasar...tp i xmahu sembunyikan diri i yang sebenar dari u...terimalah i seadanya...baik buruk i....and bile sampai satu stage yang kita akan rasa enjoy untuk buat ape2 shj asalkan dgn org yg kite syg..tanpa rasa beban.. cthnye: angkat beg2 shopping u =P walaupun i habuk pun xshopping...i sgt suke..sumpah..dats y i yg mintak nak pegangkan.


"Oh ya, memang tiada manusia yang sempurna dalam Dunia ini. Tapi kamu bisa sahaja menjadi sempurna di mata orang lain. Dan kamu juga bisa menjadi bahan jelak di mata orang lain. Usah khuatir, kita sama-sama menuju kesempurnaan,bukan? Kerna itu kita dihidupkan pada noktah yang satu" ingat lagi lagu sempurna yang kite slalu karok dlm kete time nk g mkn kfc @ balik dari kfc gurun? ngeee...sebab itu ialah kite..i bersukur sebab i xsempurna.kenapa? sebab i ade u untuk sempurnakan hidup i. u still want me even at my worst..thnks dear...


"Buat mereka yang merasakan kamu ini menjengkelkan, usah khuatir. Kita tidak mampu memuaskan hati semua pihak. Kerna keunikan kita melahirkan pendapat tersendiri. Tapi ayuh, kita mencari kedamaian,bukan? Jadi apa ruginya jika kita menerima lontaran buruk mereka sebagai iltizam menjadi yang terbaik. Jika kita melakukan kesalahan, ringan hati sahaja untuk meminta maaf dan perbaiki kesilapan. Jika bukan silap kita, usah risau. Berikan masa untuk mereka memahami. Mereka juga punya ujian kehidupan dari Tuhan kita seperti yang kita hadapi juga" untuk memuaskan hati semua orang adalah suatu yang mustahil. kalau semua org pun mustahil..apatah lagi i dengan u...tapi..berusaha untuk jadi yang terbaik itu akan berterusan sampai bile2...itu yang i janji dalam diri i. n sumtimes, i dont even know how to confort u bile u xselesa...n sampai sekarang pun i rase i masih xboleh nak pujuk u..but, from ur point of view...u told sumone dat..org yang boleh faham u hanyalah i...n i kno how to react when u r not in a mood..ya ampun, sungguh i kekok sbenarnye kalau time2 mcmtu...i even tak rasa i mampu utk pujuk u..tp knapa u ckp mcmtu? sebab i percaya yang u tahu itu yang terbaik untuk diri u walaupun sbnrnya i rasa itu xlah yang paling baik i boleh buat. itukan datang dari hati? =)


"Hidup ini satu anugerah. Nyawa ini satu anugerah. Jatuh bangun dalam kehidupan juga anugerah. Setiap hari adalah hadiah dari Tuhan kita. Setiap denyutan nadi dan rezeki yang tiada ternilai dari Tuhan kita juga anugerah. Kau dan aku adalah sama, kita anugerah. Maka aku dengan aku, kau dengan kau, tapi kita sealiran mencari kedamaian dan memelihara keharmonian yang Tuhan kita sediakan. Agar kau memahami aku dan aku memahami kau. Menerima setiap keunikan yang ada dan menjadikan perselisihan menjadi persafahaman" inilah yang i mahukan sekarang...inlah yang i nak sgt2 dlm hubungan kite...u kno, i slalu ckp ulang ulang kali kat u...if u feel like insecure bout my past..do tell me...so dat i know wuts in ur mind...tho i xboleh solvekan, but i boleh tenangkan u...n i xpernah penat untuk itu..trust me. n so i need the same favor from u dear..


"Pengalaman hidup aku jauh berbeza dari pengalaman hidup kau. Kerna ujian Tuhan itu berbeza untuk setiap makhluknya. Dan setiap ujian itu menuruti kadar keupayaan makhluknya. Dengan sifat Rahman dan RahimNya, jika gagal ujian itu, disediakan ujian lain pada kadar berbeza agar kita terus menuju kesempurnaan dan kekuatan, dan usai saja berjaya mengharungi ujian itu, dihadiahkan kita dengan anugerah yang tidak ternilai harganya. Tidak terlawan sifat Maha PemurahNya." i sungguh sentap bile teringtkan bnde2 yang lepas...bnde yang i buat..apatah lagi u, orang yang menanggung azab.. even ape yang i terima tidak sehebat u...i percaya dan i mengaku sekarang..u lebih kuat dan tabah dari i..terima kasih sayang... :''


Kita ambil pengajaran dari kehidupan sesama kita, hormati, fahami dan saling membantu.Bayangkan jika Tuhan kita menjadikan kita semua adalah serupa luar dan malam.Membosankan! kan?


p/s: b..i dunt even read back ape yang i tulis..maaflah kalau bercelaru..cubelah utk fahamkan dalam2 ye.. i sgt bahagia dgn u...dan xbeerti xkan ade derita lagi..tp suatu yang pasti...derita tu akan sama2 i tempuh dgn u..kerana satu hari nanti..hidup kite,naik turun kite, jatuh bangun kite, hanya kite berdua je yg rasa. dan i mahu jadi dahan paut untuk u. i sgt2 tak sempurna..byk khilaf dan kurang dlm diri i..tp u slalu ada temani i.

-end-

Sunday, 19 April 2009

l.e.a.v.i.n.g


tonight am gonna talk about leaving...

yes, sumone being left again..by the same person...whom he love with all his heart..

but this is not leaving as u might understand..

this is about...

she came back to sumone, she ask her 'half' to come back to her..for the very last and forever...she flew from malaysia just because she wanted to meet him..

but somehow..she hav to return back home. even its so hard to realise..to be understood by him..thats the fact that sumone must accept...sumthing being left unspoken..b'cos he didnt have time to tell her that, he want her to be his wife..yes, his wife :''

4 months..he was living in the dark..alone..crying every nite n day..owh,how misery his life during that time..only god knew how he struggle to stood still... wishing so that his prayer being heard by god..tho he had friends, but its not the same wit someone he 'heart' very much..

and now..he was so thankful to god.. from 11-16 april 09..he cant afford to forget such a 'bitter sweet' memories (and thats how they make up their relationship )..and he wonder if he can stop the time..so there will be no past..and no future..

perhaps..she might be arriving home rite now..she must be missing him so much..he want her to know dat..she always be inside his heart.forever.

all he can say ryte now is..

he forgive her..he accept her back..please help him to forget about the past..b'coz this is the point of no return..wutever happen..they will always be together..

and thats why he called her 'another half'. dont u ever leave ur half again..b'coz u'll not find who knew u better, each other, compared to him.

good night~

.

p/s: he <3 her

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

.::married::.

..Pembrokeshire Coast,East Wales. Just before he climb up the cliff to see the sunset..
________________________________________________

Bila melangkah ke dunia perkahwinan, semua akan berubah. Tanggungjawab seorang suami sgt besar.Tanggungjawabku seorang anak jgak tak boleh dilupakan. Pada saat itu, semua kisah silamku akan ku lupuskn dari ingatanku dan akanku mulakn tirai baru bersama seseorang yg benar2 mnerima segala kekurangan diriku ini. Menerima bmaksud menerima segala2nya tentangku. Bkn mnerima siapa diriku skrg, tp mnerima siapa diriku suatu ketika dulu. Even dahulu ku byk bermain, tapi nnti bila ku da berkahwin, ku dh xnk semua pmainan itu. Ya, ku xnk diduakn. Ku juga pernah merasakn diri ini diduakn. Sakit. Dan ku juga pernah menduakn org yg aku syg. Maafkanku. Semua yg blaku itu bukanla seperti yg ku rancang dan inginkn. Bukan ku sengaja mau perkara ni semua jadi, tp pernah x kamu bertanya pada kaum kamu, knpa kamu jga suka maenkn insan yg kamu sayang?

Percayala setiap manusia ada noktah hitamnya, dan itu x bmakna dia akan terus hidup dlm kisahnya itu. Jangan menghukum kisah silamnya. Peluang sentiasa ada utk dia berubah. Begitu juga dgnku. ku sudah berubah.Perubahan ini akn terus blaku mngikut peringkat. Dan smpainya detik ku ingin mlangkah ke dunia perkahwinan, semuanya sudahpun berubah..atau mungkin ku telah lama berubah? Thanks to 'sumone' who teach me the meaning of love,life and loyal.Akur janji!


p/s : this entry was taken from blogger's diary. as a promise to sumone dat he will post new entry tomorrow.


Tuesday, 7 April 2009

.::life'S Ordinance::.

"Semoga kamu mendapat cukup kebahagiaan untuk membuat kamu bahagia,cukup cubaan untuk membuat kamu kuat,cukup penderitaan untuk membuat kamu menjadi manusia yang sesungguhnya, dan cukup harapan untuk membuat kamu positif terhadap kehidupan.."

I Believe... 
That just because two people argue, 
it doesn't mean they don't love each other. 
And just because they don't argue, 
it doesn't mean they do love each other. 




.::help::.

i need a credit.. i need to sent sms to my parents. easter break make me sick of finding a topup.

harini i have to do alotz of work n tutorial.. malasnye.

Sunday, 5 April 2009

[di larang meludah disini] *entri ini punya kata2 kasar tapi bukan untuk meludah atau memaki cuma peringatan*

i've deleted this content b'cos it sound very 'kasar'.. i want to learn to be polite n talk softly from now.

whoever drop a 'sampuk'...at my previous post..i want to know who u r.

salam hormat.

Saturday, 4 April 2009

.::Comments::.

to sumone who r the only reader on this blog. grey=her comment. black=blogger's answer

  1. actually, she hope dat u were there for her convocation but u r not. =( . tho he was not there during ur convo, he always pray for ur happiness during that day. he sent u an e-cards thru ur email, during he was in london..thats the best things he can do besides sending u a text msg..coz he knew, u must be happy during that day wit ur friends n 'friend'..ryte? =)
  2. she realy want to go to uk for godsake. she want to meet YOU n she needs a retail therapy. pfft.. he is afraid if u cant meet him b'cos he dont want u to be hurt and sad again..but, as a retail therapy, he suggested u to visit oxford st. and all designer outlet all over uk =D
  3. she deleted her frenster already coz she found dat frenster is boring. she only hv facebook. so, u can add her if u want coz she cant add u as a fren. he had del his friendster too..but he cant find u at a FB. he was very upset b'coz sumone had deleted their blog.. she promise me to keep the blog running..but after all this happen.
  4. she found dat deeper conversation song is the great one n she specially dedicated it to you. he want u to see the VC of dat song..it was very meaningful..just like the song dat u n him used to listen n sing : andra and the backbone.
  5. she pray for u to get better n happy always. he pray for u to get a job as soon as possible..to get a gud guy who can take care of u...which is better than the previous one..which will lead u to a happy life =D
  6. if u love 'her' juz admit it. u kno who is 'her' ryte? haisy.. i'l pray for ur happiness wit ur love one. u both meant to be together. 'her' wait is worth. =)) 'HER'? who is she..he dun hav any >> 'HER'..both of his previous hav a 'new' boy-friend. is that an improvement in life ryte? =D who wants a guy dat has sooo high level of jelousy like him? he has found the answer..noone.

p/s : he got ur 2misscalled..but his hp doesnt want to behave well.

Thursday, 2 April 2009

.::update::.

i hav been dischrge from hosp few days ago...theres too many things to be update..here it goes...
  • i am just 23, yet suffer from minor symtom paru2 berair..someone pesan jgn mandi malam n jgn smoke. omg..i mentioned 'JUST'..means dat i only hav 4 years left to think bout my future...or i might be bachelor forever?
  • my internet is sooooooO slow..i wonder y? even theres only few student left in this block.
  • i heard from my sister in law,i-phone masuk m'sia..thru maxis line..i-phone xbijak..manja..jatuh skit trus xnak bunyi..manja!so..belai i-phone anda mcm anda belai suami/isteri anda. jgn ada sedikit pun 'ter'..tercampak.hikhik.
  • am sad coz am not at malaysia during someone convocation day..its unfair for me, i wish tiket flight murah mcm dari nilai ke kl sentral. i knew she had a great time during dat day. tho she had a migrain attack..its her convocation day! i am so proud of her.
  • she told me she might come here..but i dunno wether she want to meet me or just wanna go shopping..or..might be both?god knows.she also told me dat sumone like me..i dunno who is that unlucky girl.
  • sumone hav run away from me..at the very first time i reach my so 'lovely' room..my finger stroke her blog address..but..'Sorry, the blog at xxxx-xx.blogspot.com has been removed. This address is not available for new blogs.' popped up on my screen..am just here.. i've read all her comments..thnks for every comments. =) i mean it. thanks. i really appreciate that.
  • i found a good song from yuna's album - Deeper conversation. this song is specially dedicated for my loyal reader. (i hates yuna ryte now, i just love the lyrics and rythm)
  • where is sumone friendster? i cuden find u! (i'll del mine too..) i wish to del this blog too but i've promise to sumone not to do so..i'll keep my words.
  • i need to study..2 exam paper to be taken at 1 time..kan bgs kalau ada org urutkan..xlah letih sgt.
  • i pray for sumone happiness everyday. (shud i mention this?)
  • kamu kamulah duniaku..'penat' untuk kenal orang yang kita baru kenal lebih dari 'penat' untuk berada dgn org yang kita sudah lama kenal..kenal segala2nya..sebab jatuh bgn 'penat' dgn org yang kita sudah lama kenal jauh bezanya dan itukan sebenarnya sirna2 kehidupan yang mencorakkan hidup kita? soo..jgn kenal orang yang kamu baru kenal..jangan kenal dgn siapa siapa pun.
p/s:::ni buat dlm bullet je sebab am not a good writer..i swear to god..kalau nk buat surat satu A4 penuh tu maybe amek masa 1 to 2 days.
am not good in writing..but am good in showing..erm, dulu might be..now i dunno.

yuna-deeper conversation